Attract Quality Love in Life Without the Law of Attraction

Life is relationships. (Photo: shoothead)

One of the main reasons I’ve chosen to vagabond around the world is to increase the quality of relationships in my life.

I was the opposite before, I use to not value relationships with people. Getting my job functions or business done came first. Now relationships is priority #1 in any situation. Business, personal, love, relationships with the person comes first.

I felt trapped where I was in my previous job, I would mostly only see the people I worked with. Of course only mostly being around those people was my fault. I always have the choice to go out and meet other people and I did go out and meet people.

From the beginning my choice to meet these new people outside work was always destructive. I went into these relationships subconsciously with the wrong mindset. Over time these relationships would deteriorate based upon how I approached it.

Scarcity Mindset

One thing, I cared if people liked me, and it created a scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset in this situation means this, I cared if people liked me and it made me act in a way where I thought I needed to impress or make them like me when I first met them or at every interaction.

This makes people act weird, even subconsciously and it is best to avoid doing so.

A good example, imagine a guy approaching a beautiful girl he likes. Beautiful women have men putting them on a higher pedestal daily. If he approaches her as if he is putting her on a higher level, she can feel the awkwardness in him. If he treats her the same as any other person instead of treating her as if she is too good for him or as if this is his only chance at love, things will go smoother.

Think how your world would be if you approached every person with an abundance mindset? It would change the way you interact for the better.

Subconsciously going into a situation with a certain mindset will usually determine your actions. If you change the formula and make your actions determine your mindset and consciously chose to change what you believe, it will make things work in your favor unconsciously.

Becoming Likeable

I recently read a blog post by a guy named Glen. He is an amazing young guy doing amazing things. He is currently traveling the world living off the income he makes from his various online ventures. At age 20, he is making a 5 figure a month income online.

Two of his blogs are my favorites, check them out. Viperchill and PluginID.

His blog post I read is titled “Definitive Guide to Becoming Likeable Online.” I’ve been applying a lot of these principles in my physical world and the online world. I’ve had great results.

I’ve quoted some key parts about what he writes and what works for me. Glen’s article covers a lot of ground about the online world, I’m focusing mostly in real life. Check out the article here.

Glen says the following as the most important factor to becoming likeable online.

You don’t talk to people you don’t like.

There are a few ways to interpret this. One way is that people will not read your blog or usually talk to you for too long if they don’t like you. This applies to you as well, if you don’t like someone, you do not talk to them as much as someone you do like.

I’ll say it is true for me. I’ll spend hours talking to someone I like and a few moments to talk to someone I don’t like.

Don’t care about whether people like you

I know it’s quite the paradox to suggest that if you want something, don’t care if you get it. But, in terms of becoming likeable online, it certainly matters here. There are two main reasons why this is the case:

• You allow your real self to shine through
• You stop coming from a scarcity mindset

Have you ever spoke to someone who seems like they’re trying really hard to impress you? They feel it is necessary to let you know how much money they make, what qualifications they have or what car they drive…even after two minutes of meeting them.

If you haven’t, then I have. And let me tell you, it’s uncomfortable. It just feels…difficult. Maybe it’s because I’m very self aware, but I simply can’t have flowing conversations with people who feel it is necessary to put me or them on a pedestal. If you stop caring whether people like you, you naturally won’t put them on a pedestal (think too highly of them) and make communication awkward.

I started to not care recently. Truly stopped caring. I used to think about everything I did and its affect, positive or negative and analyze all of it.

Now, I don’t care, really I don’t care what people think about the things I do. I stopped trying impress these invisible people in my head and became myself. I’ve been putting people on the same level as me who before I would think too highly of (especially beautiful girls).

My real self shines, and it brings the people I want around me.

Abundance Mindset

I mentioned before about the scarcity mindset, and now instead of having one, I have an abundance mindset. This mindset attracts like people who are attracted to abundance. By abundance, I mean the opposite of scarcity. Instead of “What If I lose this person, I won’t have anyone” you say, “I’m glad to have this person in my life, I have great people in my life.”

I’ve written before about keeping up with the Joneses. Caring about what people think of you has similar meaning to care about whether people like you. Remove these invisible people from your mind and you will flourish in many ways.

How would your world change having an abundance mindset?

Posted on January 21st 2010.